Already the voice inside my head
by my-kind-of-scene
Summary: Beastboy's 20th Birthday throws the Teen Titans into the deep end as they are forced to keep a promise they made to the city but is their promise worth everything? As the Teen Titans die a new threat emerges and when they reunite they'll have to face ever


**Already the voice inside my head**

**I do not own Teen Titans or any registered trademarks. I do own this story and this idea; I do own any characters in this story that do not appear in Teen Titans. Read on and enjoy :)**

The refreshing smell of rain mixed with sea water wafted in through his open window in the breeze. Lightning crashed out at sea and the faint breeze ruffled his dark green hair, the dancing reflections of light from outside reflected in his also green eyes. He was awake which was unusual for two different reasons; one, he loved to sleep and two, it was two forty in the morning. Beastboy's mind screamed at him to sleep but his subconscious knew it would be impossible; after all in less then a day the Titans would be no more. He was twenty tomorrow…or today rather and fuck how he wanted to be a teen again. Beastboy sighed and pushed himself off the bed, resting his head in his hands. They had no choice; they had agreed to retire once the youngest of them turned twenty and that day had finally come, today. Today was the last day he had as a titan, the last day he had with his team, what would they do? They hadn't really planned it at all; they just knew that by lunch time that afternoon they would no longer be a team. Beastboy kicked his bed in frustration and wearily shoved on a white shirt. His thoughts swept through his head like a whirlpool. What would he do? Where could he go? What about the others. Would they be o.k? He stepped out into the long dark corridor that lead to the lounge room and slowly began to walk down it, not even noticing where he was going. He scowled and hurriedly ran his fingers through his hair. Would he see any of them again? He had to; they were like his only family. The best time of his life had been with the Titans and now he had to walk away from it, no. He would keep in touch, with all of them. Cyborg, Starfire, Robin and Raven…always Raven. He turned down a corner and knocked on the black door he was now facing. What? Where was he? Beastboy turned his head in surprise, Raven's room? Damn. He had done it again. Beastboy swung back to face the corridor just as he heard the door open.

"Beastboy?" He heard her whisper and felt goose bumps creep up his spine. He turned to face her again and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

"Hey Raven, what's up?" She raised an eyebrow at him.

"I have no clue; you're the one who came here."

"Right." He laughed and she nodded sarcastically. She looked just like she always did. Her violet hair was down and her charka shone a deep red. Her eyes were tired but alert, there was only one difference. Light rings were visible under her eyes; she obviously hadn't been getting any sleep lately. She shifted feet and crossed her arms over her chest and Beastboy realized he had been staring.

"Sorry." He mumbled. She smiled faintly and un crossed her arms.

"So, what are you doing?" He asked her.

"Trying to sleep but it hasn't been very successful."

"Sorry." He mumbled again. She gave him a faintly annoyed look.

"Not because of you, because of tomorrow…or today."

"The team thing you mean?" She nodded. "That's why I'm here too."

"Really?"

"Was that sarcastic or serious?"

"A bit of both." She answered with a completely straight face. He grinned and then frowned. He had heard something, yep, most defiantly…footsteps, light ones and he heard something else, sobbing.

"Can you hear that?" He asked Raven, scowling. She frowned.

"No, wh…" She stopped as the source of the sobbing was revealed. Starfire rammed into Beastboy sending him flying to the floor. Her red hair was tousled and messy and her green eyes were wide with pain and the horror of possibly hurting a friend. Trails of tears ran down her cheeks and her hands were clenched at her side, her lips quivered and Beastboy felt fear and sorrow overwhelm his animal senses.

"Oh, greatest apologies friend Beastboy." She said and quickly lent him a hand to pull him to his feet.

"Starfire!" Raven said in shock. She immediately wrenched open the door completely and stepped outside of her room.

"Hello Raven. I wish to talk to you if I may?" Her voice quivered and the tears began to flow again. Raven nodded and pulled her into a tight hug.

"Of course you can." She said. Beastboy pushed himself up from the floor as Raven hurriedly pushed a hic-upping Starfire into her room. She glanced at Beastboy and for one second Beastboy felt the same fear and sorrow that he had sensed in Starfire radiating off Raven.

"See you in the morning Beastboy." She said and was gone.

Robin sunk his fist into his pillow with venom and pain. His fault, punch, his fault, punch, his fault, punch…rip, shred, body slam. It was for the good of the city and going their separate ways was for the good of the team. He would have no problem; after all Bruce was practically his foster father anyway. So he was all set but what about Starfire? She wouldn't, couldn't survive without him. What did he really think so lowly of her? No, it wasn't that. She was the strongest, smartest and most adaptable person he'd ever met. Then what was it? It was his protective nature he decided, friends always acted like this. It was completely natural for one to feel like ones heart was getting ripped out when a friend was leaving…possibly forever but as Robin collapsed, exhausted on his bed some deep part of him realized that he wouldn't, couldn't possibly survive without her.

_What you want to say,  
Wait till you get home.  
I'm sick of communicating over the telephone.  
But tell me how you feel,  
For I am lonely too   
Need you to know  
I'm just as cold and numb as you._

But I could fly away,  
Or I could be no one.  
And you could be the   
Sunshine falling over the Mountains

And you could come to stay  
Yes you could come right home  
Don't see why I have to   
Live this life all alone.

I know there is a way to make up for old Mistakes  
And I know what's happening is for a reason   
I know...

**Reviews, flames, rants and criticism all expected and appreciated. Will update ASAP! Song at the end titled "What you want" Written by the John Butler Trio.**

**xx- my-kind-of-scene.**


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